hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
