I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
