I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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