at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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