If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
