i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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