uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
