If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
