And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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