i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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