ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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