id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
