I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
