I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Randomize
