I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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