we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
