its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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