She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
