There is no way he is gay with that hair.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
