Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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