omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
