He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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