You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
