D3 body, D1 cock
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
