Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
