dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Blood and glitter go together right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
