Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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