I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
