...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My liver just broke up with me...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
