Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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