Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
please come you make the beer taste better
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
