seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
