why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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