i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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