winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
