you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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