ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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