Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
