There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
