cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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