i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
