I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
