Swine flu. Run for my life!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
