Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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