he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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