feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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