i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
