Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
