he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Are we still banned from the library?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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