We're like a lot better than the average bears
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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