just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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