Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
